Interpersonal skills.

Have you ever stopped to wonder why you always seem to argue over the same issues time and time again, normally with the one you love most? Are you aware of times when you overreact in a circumstance with someone else? These overreactions and constant arguing over the same, or similar issues, often result from one or both people’s unbearable feelings being invoked.

An unbearable feeling is exactly that – unbearable. So, instead of feeling it, people use coping mechanisms to prevent themselves from the pain. In relationships, often these unbearable feelings can be ‘cross-matched’ – ie one persons’ response to avoid their unbearable feeling being felt invokes the other to engage their coping mechanism, and things simply escalate from there.

In order to truly have interpersonal skills that are complete, you need to have an understanding of yourself, your unbearable feelings and the coping mechanisms, or survival kits, you use to ‘protect yourself’.