Sexual.

Like many areas of counselling, this area has many variants and hence any information here will be quite general in nature.

Sexual issues for people can result in a life filled with angst, turmoil, confusion and inferiority, as well as shame and extreme embarrassment. It is also an area where generally people are poorly educated about the facts of sex, even though our TV and movie screens are filled with images of it.

Our sexual identity is formed whenever we are first ‘awakened’ in a sexual way. The age you were and the method of your sexual awakening plays a large part in your sexual identity today. For example, if you are female and your first sexual awakening was with your husband - a loving man who respects you – you may not have many sexual concerns re your identity. But what if you were an eight-year-old boy who was sexually awakened by an older man? Or a teenage girl whose first awakening was with a young man who treated her like dirt? Your awakening leaves an impression in your mind, one that can remain with you, and possibly emotionally scar you, for life, if left untreated. When you consider that when we are growing up, we are good recorders of information but poor interpreters of it, you may well have formed some very wrong assumption or beliefs because of these experiences.

Another area where sexual counselling could be needed is where a couple, who love each other and have a secure, stable and healthy relationship, are unfulfilled with their sex life. This can often be where say the woman hasn’t ever experienced an orgasm. They’ve been married 6 years and she hasn’t said anything yet, so how could she possibly bring it up now?

Some people struggle with same-sex attraction. This is often brought about by the way in which their sexual identity was awoken. Without working through these struggles, life can be miserable.

Where children have been sexually abused, the best thing for them is to receive counselling where the assumptions or beliefs they would have formed can be challenged and renewed immediately. If they are left to ‘set’ in their mind, a life full of torment may result. It is definitely much better to deal with it immediately and upfront than sweep it under the carpet.

Our sexual identity is obviously one of, if not the, most intimate parts of us. It was created for us to be enjoyed, yet it causes so many people pain. Don’t let this one area of your life ruin you. Take the step and see us for help with whatever your issue/problem or concern is. Allow your sex life to be transformed as you renew your mind.